Live Your Values.
Christian Counseling in Rocklin
Eating Disorders | Women’s Issues | Trauma Recovery
Find your…
voice
faith
freedom
purpose
peace.
You are enough.
Let go.
There is a better way.
When my clients come to me, they are exhausted- weary under the crushing weight of the unrealistic expectations of perfection in virtually every area of their lives. Often, they know that these expectations are fantasies; that they are unattainable. And yet, somehow this knowledge doesn’t transcend the head and penetrate the heart. Instead, many are constantly striving to do more, be more, give more. Others may say they don’t care, and even engage in self-sabotaging behaviors that seem to communicate this to the outside world, but deep down nothing could be further from the truth. Almost all are highly sensitive, intelligent, deeply empathic, and often high-acheiving, and yet, they are drowning in their feelings of failure, shame and self-loathing. They are repulsed and frustrated by everything from what they see in the mirror before them, to who they are as a friend, partner, parent, worker… person. And one thing is for certain, no matter how much approval, or how many accolades, compliments or achievements they receive, it is never enough.
But, there is a better way. My clients don’t have a weight problem, an achievement problem or even a self-esteem problem. Perhaps much like you, the problem these incredible women share is an identity problem. When they understand who they were created to be, why they were created and what truly gives them value, everything changes. And like them, you are more than you’ve made. You are more than you’ve done. And you are not made more worthy or more loveable based on any measure of your performance.
Attach.
Let love in.
Give your whole self.
Most of the clients I’ve worked with over the years deeply want love, meaningful relationship and vibrant community. They are sick to death of the way they are living and can think of nothing they want more than to be free of the life-controlling behaviors, traumas or unhealthy relationships that have kept them stuck and kept them sick. But most have also been deeply wounded, sometimes even by the very people that should have protected them and provided a sense of safety in their world. As a result, they don’t trust themselves, and therefore, can’t even conceive of trusting someone else with their whole self.
Instead, in order to protect themselves, they have become experts at giving people the version of themselves that they believe others most want. Trust is placed not in God or safe people, but in the behaviors and beliefs that they’ve adapted to cope with and survive the pain. And ultimately, these unhealthy coping strategies end up being the very things that sabotage what they want most- to be known, loved and accepted for who they truly are. But, here again there is better way. We can learn to place our trust in what is eternal, trustworthy and true. We can find our voice and learn to advocate for and protect ourselves. And we can learn to treat ourselves with, and recognize in God and others, the kind of love and safety that makes it possible to let love in.
“Before therapy, I felt like I couldn’t clearly see and make sense of my life. Now I am beginning to see through the rain, to the beauty beneath.”
Photo and quote by Isla C., former client